10. Because you have trouble making good decisions, and Michael Casp can help you with that.
9. Because Michael Casp will work harder for you than anyone ever has, or ever will. He knows this because he can also see into the future.
8. Because Michael Casp is IN IT to WIN IT. And by "IT" he means a paycheck for writing.
7. Because you just read three reasons, and you still want more. Make that four reasons.
6. Because Michael Casp can type quickly, write stories efficiently, and market them appropriately. (hey, they can't all be funny)
5. Because Michael Casp appeals to your target audience of "people slacking off at work to check your website."
4. Because Michael Casp is a trained cognitive neuroscientist, which is just cool right?
3. Because Michael Casp understands that you have a budget, and he will work for less money than his equally talented peers. And it isn't because he's desperate. He just really wants this job, and will do what it takes to get it. I swear, he isn't desperate! Come on, just give me the job, you'll thank me later, I promise, hand to God!
2. Because Michael Casp drinks four cups of coffee per day.
1. Because Michael Casp has been writing for years, and he is really quite good at it.
0. Because Michael Casp will not stop until he has this job.
Yeah, that's eleven reasons, but you're hiring a writer, not a mathematician.