It isn’t sex, or love, or friendship that drives us. It is, in fact, the basic need to connect with another human being, to find that special thing that you can share with another, joining you from now until eternity, that drives us. We all want, nay, need it. Some find it. In seeking it, some find greatness. Others find only madness. But we press on, or die. This is not to say fate will lead the way. Fate is a joke, a fat mistress who only pops her head in so that we may ridicule it. No, fate is not the answer. It isn’t even the question. The only question is you. And me. Hi.
I don’t want friends. I don’t want a lover. I don’t want family. I don’t want a pet. You know what I want, and we both know it’s the easiest thing and the world. But, simultaneously, it is also the most difficult. Because to truly connect is to be truly vulnerable. To show another your soft underbelly is a risky endeavor, not to be taken lightly, but also not to be taken so seriously that one fails to enjoy the ride. It is exhilarating, terrifying, life affirming, and wonderful, all at the same time. It reminds you where the boundaries lie between us, and also how easily those boundaries can come down (or, in some unfortunate cases, how firmly those boundaries are entrenched).
We cannot force the connection, but we cannot simply sit back and allow it to happen. I’ve found a gentle touch too soft, and a firm grip too hard. Instead, what is needed is a steady pressure, not too hard to pop the balloon, but also not too soft to let it slip away. You must be ready for the connection when it happens, you must not hesitate or be too afraid to let it happen. You want it. You need it. It is as essential and as natural as breathing – but some have spent their entire lives holding their breath. Inhale, my friend. Breathe deep of the bounty God has bestowed upon us. Enjoy his glory as it washes over you. Behold his might as it sticks in your throat and grips your heart. Hold on tight, because this ride never stops. Let your arms loose, and trust the car to take you where you were meant to go. Because if you stop stopping yourself, if you allow yourself to breathe deeply of his creation, you will always find your way. Even when the path is dark.
In fact, you know you’re on the right path when all is dark, and the light seems lost forever. You might be going the wrong way, but you are on the path. It is trying to shake you off, to push you aside. But you refuse, because you know the way, and nothing will stop you. Now, there will be surprises along the way. The great castle at the end of the yellow brick road could be made of sticks, and the tiny cottage you passed could hold great treasure. You will not know until you explore it. So open your eyes. Drink from the stream. Smell the flowers. Talk to a passing stranger. Walk the path, son. The path will take you home.
-Another late night jam session with the brain of Michael Casp.